Convocations.

Today has been weird. 

I woke up early, had my breakfast, and rushed to the dentist. I didn’t even get to finish my cup of coffee (what a disaster). My dentist, unlike many other dentists, loves to fucking talk. So here I am, lying on the chair, being operated on without anaesthesia (because if I took anaesthesia, I’d have to wait longer and possibly miss my friend, Ahmed’s, graduation). My talkative dentist would ask question ranging from what my brothers are up to, to why I’m not eating enough and what my views of dentists are over here vs. in Canada, all while A) There’s a hole being drilled into my tooth, B) There’s a suction tube in my mouth, C) I’m breaking the arm rest with the pressure of my hands because of the pain. The best part? She pauses between question waiting for me to answer as if I can even do a thing. 

Anyways, dentist pains aside, after I was done there I rushed to Ahmed’s convocation, and hah, what a surprise. I walk into the reception hall wearing a t-shirt, jeans, and my Vibram’s. Everyone else is in a suit or formal attire. I laughed to myself, found an empty chair next to my friend, and sat to watch the ceremony. The next two hours were horrible. They started off with the president of the university giving some boring speech, followed by another boring one by the dean, followed by a few others by student leaders that should be hung for their grammar. The cheesiest things were in every single speech; from thanking God for everything, to “this is the best degree from one of the best universities” – etc etc. After the horrible speeches ( I was lucky for not having checked my RSS feed during breakfast – gave me something to do), we were forced to watch a video of the graduating class at a different branch of the university, and see how their graduation went. Seriously? What is this, fucking Inception? I come to a convocation to see a video of another convocation? Best part? They had Vitamin C – Graduation playing as their soundtrack. 

After the horror show, everyone got their diplomas and we were ready to leave when suddenly, RedBull, yes, RedBull, started handing out certificats too, to all the graduates. I was fucking speechless. Talk about marketing. This, this was just incredible. Below is the actual certificate they gave my friend. It’s more like a straight forward advertisement than their self-titled certificate. 

After all this, I’m reminded once more that I was smart to ditch my own convocation. 

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