First World Cycling Problems

A week ago I bought a really good bicycle. It looks similar to the picture below. Comically enough, the same night I got my new bike, my old bike got stolen, which is a shame since I wanted to pass it on to Verena. Anyways, that’s not the point, the point of this post is for me to vent. First world cycling problems, right? So, what is this problem you might ask? I’ll tell you! The bike is too damn fast. Hah. That’s not a problem, not at all, it is actually why I wanted it. The problem is all these g’damn slow cyclists out there that force me to bike slowly and not make proper use of my bike. That, and pedestrians are fucking stupid. Someone jumped in front of me today to get into a car, while I was speeding by. Naturally, I hit her with my bicycle. The bike is fine, don’t worry; so is the pedestrian.

Okay, back to slow g’damn cyclists. On a good day with no grandma cyclists in front of me, my commute during rush hour is 10 minutes. On a bad day, it goes up to 20 minutes. You might think that I’m being whiny about 10 minutes, that it is nothing in the grand scheme of things. You’re wrong. It is important, it is why I got this road bike, to commute faster than I could with my old mountain bike. Unfortunately for me, grandma cyclists force a bottleneck for now. Argh.

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