“If we’re still together at that point, then [x = y] or something”. Anyone get what I mean? Couples do that, right? Why do we do that though? Are we being defensive to avoid potential hurt? Are we being realistic? Or are we just dumb? 

There are valid arguments for every single one of them. Some have been hurt before, so avoid any sort of commitment. They don’t want to assume the other person has the same expectations later on in the relationship and thus build a defensive wall. Some can see that this might not work for long, so just ready themselves, and some are just stupid – everything’s perfect but themselves; perfectly flawed.

I think I fall in the latter category, I’m perfectly flawed. 

“Well she had to pick you. All her other options didn’t pan out”.

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