How not to play Risk.

 Wednesday nights are usually guys night, the stereotypical night you see in movies & tv shows. Booze, drugs, and lots of fun. This week we decided to play Risk. Risk has been a long tradition of my university life, that and beer pong. We played it bi-weekly in the dorms, less frequently during 2nd year at the house, a few times during 3rd year, and now, we’re back on track to start playing again. So here’s how not to play.

  • Stick to a good strategy and you will prevail. Fuck you stupid dice. 
  • Smack talk people around you, they’ll just attack you instead.
  • Concentrate as many soldiers into one country, screw the rest.
  • Don’t make alliances, they’re for cowards.
  • Don’t focus on South America or Australia. 

Good list so far eh? Well, here’s how my strategy planned out: I had troops scattered everywhere due to the initial country locations I was given. I only focused on Africa though, and soon enough, everything but Africa was lost. 

As you can see, I was being attacked from every direction. (I’m Mr.Yellow).

I got lucky with dice rolls and fended off attacks from Mr.White, and eventually took over Egypt. While I did that though, Mr.Red cashed in his cards and attacked with a brigade of troops. 

Eventually Mr.White got defeated, and I was down to my last man. 

Disappointing, I know. On the bright side though, her highness the master Risk player Sous, plans on teaching me how to play right. Challenge accepted!